There is this country song - I know - please stop laughing at me for listening to country. It's not nice. Stay with me here. Generally speaking, most country songs are pretty uncomplicated. Country songs are about trucks and beer and dogs and loving America. They have a good beat and you can sing along and they don't bring up any moral issues that you'd rather not think about on Monday morning on your way into work.
So anyway - I'm driving along one day and I hear this song. It's called History In The Making. Lyrics go like this...
This could be one of those memories
We want to hold on to, cling to,
one we can’t forget
Baby, this could be our last first kiss
The door to forever
What if this was that moment
That chance worth taking
History in the making
So I'm singing along - in my car - in my uncomplicated Monday morning - lalala - and then WAIT - WHOA - what is this dude talking about?!
Last first kiss. So then I'm like wait. Being an old married lady as I am these days - my last first kiss - WHOA - it's OVER. Done with. I'll never again have a LAST FIRST KISS. (I mean - let me just pause and say, I hope this is the case. I hope I live to be an old old old cranky lady and die a few weeks before my husband. I know life doesn't always work this way - but man, that would be the bomb. But back to my Monday morning FREAKOUT). So as I'm be-bopping to the music remembering how AWESOME first kisses are - and well, take that off the bucket list cause it's over for me... I realize...
MY HUSBAND WASN'T MY LAST FIRST KISS. I mean, folks, let me honest with you. Not by a long shot. I kissed a LOT of people after I kissed my husband. Most were totally legit but some were... well... erm. I mean - seriously people. Was your husband YOUR last first kiss? It seems like you would really have to have your shit together for this to be true or at least be really forward-thinking which my 20 year old self surely wasn't. This song is MESSED UP.
So now this song - that I really actually liked - I hate. It is stupid. A stupid, stupid freaking stupid song about stupid people. So there.
But you know what else I was thinking. Aside from the fact that maybe I hate this song because I'm a hussy, I hate it for another reason too. It tells a lie. Moments like that - the moments when your life changes - it's so rare that you see them coming. It's so rare that you wake up one morning and say "TODAY IS THE DAY MY LIFE WILL CHANGE." You can see them looking back, but to see them before they arrive - well, that's a pretty tricky thing.
Now, not to be cryptic - but to be honest and record what I can how I can for posterity and for my children - today, it might be one of those days for us. I mean - who knows? But while that 20 year old wasn't smart enough to realize the man she was smooching was going to be the start of something awesome, I hope that this nearly 30 year old has learned at least a few lessons along the way. And if today is the day our life starts changing, well I want to know that I was smart enough to see it coming. SO - if this is what it might be - well, PUCKER UP.